Ends and Odds

The everything all at once test...

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 08:34:48 GMT

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality

You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are innovative (71%), adventurous (69%), horny (69%), intellectual (63%).

Stereotypes
Punk Rock	87%
Prep	62%
Young Professional	60%

Life Experience
Sex	44%
Substances	24%
Travel	56%

Politics
Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 100% of the time.

Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Class. You make more than 47% of those who have taken this test, and 77% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 55%, hotter than 30% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

Yeah, some of those results are a bit odd. I'm spiritual, but not one shred religious - I don't guess it really distinguishes between those. I'm not sure how rebellious I'd have to be to be a "rebel", but I'm certainly not very traditional. And somehow, I show up as Extroverted, when my Myers-Briggs rating was almost 100% Introvert. And I don't think of myself as Upper Class (not when I make 77% less than the US average).

The rest of it is pretty cool, though, and reasonably accurate. That makes me a logical, lazy, loner who's concerned about others - a cynical, engineering leader who's innovative, adventurous, horny, and intellectual - 87% Punk Rocker, 100% Socialist. Not bad, really.

And then a year went by...

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 09:03:21 GMT

So, I logged on to LJ tonight and saw that my most recent post was almost exactly a year ago. Yeaaaahh, not too active with the blogging thing. And I especially drifted away from LJ. I got on MySpace last year, but... *drumroll* I haven't done much of anything there, either.

If anyone who reads this actually wants to keep in touch (see what I'm up to, what I've been doing, what I will be doing) or read my infrequent movie and game reviews and/or random philosophical musings and blog-type postings (such as they are), go to www.errantgamers.com and sign up for the message board there. See you around.

Quiz about me

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 08:49:42 GMT

Fill in the blanks about ME in the comments section. Before doing that, copy and paste a blank one into your live journal so your friends can return the favor to you. Be honest - It only takes a few minutes and might be fun.

1. My name:

2. Where did we meet?

3. Take a stab at my middle name:

4. How long have you known me?

5. Do I smoke?

6. Do I believe in God?

7. What was your first impression of me upon meeting?

8. Color of my eyes:

9. Do I have any siblings?

10. What's one of my favorite things to do?

11. Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?

12. What's my favorite type of music?

13. What is the best feature about me?

14. Am I shy or outgoing?

15. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

16. Any special talents:

17. Would you consider me a friend?

18. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?

19. What's your favorite memory of me?

20. If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring?

Heard the non-news?

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 00:35:27 GMT

Just logged in and instantly ran into this big story. A guy killed a girl's parents, and OMGWTF?!?!?!? They both had blogs. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It's not like this sort of crime ever happened before the internet... or did it??? But here they go, as usual, overhyping the nothing behind it all. He liked to hunt, she loved Jesus, if only their parents had seen the warning signs, this tragedy might have been avoided. Snoop on your children. It's the only way you can save them.

It's a stupid non-story. Journalism is so irresponsible.

Another Roller-Coaster Month

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 12:31:33 GMT

I was up to my eyeballs in busy for the entire month of November. Even with the fun stuff, I was busting my ass doing it all. The past four weekends I've been busy with something. I was also busy for most of the weekdays. First weekend of the month was Board Game Geek Con. A heck of a lot of fun, and also much better than I expected. The week after the con, we went to Arkansas to visit Brig's parents and drop off our ferrets, so they would be taken care of while we were gone. And we were gone a LOT this month. We worked on puzzles for the RG on the way to Arkansas, while we were there, and on the way back. We got back from Arkansas that Thursday, with less than 24 hours to pack for our California trip.

We flew out Friday night, got to LAX pretty late, and got to a hotel around midnight, I think. Got up the next day and hit California Adventure/Disneyland. Spent that whole weekend (Sat-Mon) at Disneyland and California Adventure. We ran ourselves silly, but got in everything we really wanted to do, some of the cool stuff more than once. The Haunted Mansion had been re-themed with the Nightmare Before Christmas, so that was neat. We also enjoyed all the original rides that aren't at Disney World, and we liked comparing the ones we'd ridden in both places. Had a blast there, but it wore us out. I'd gotten sick right after BGG.con, and with hardly any time to rest up, I stayed pretty sick all month long.

Monday night we switched to the Anabella hotel, due to a GenCon screw-up, and then on Tuesday morning we moved over to the Marriott for the con. We got to rest for about half a day, before we had our first True Dungeon staff meeting and DM training. Then, that night we were treated to Buca di Beppo, which ruled, and gave us leftovers for a couple more free meals. Wednesday afternoon we got the ballroom for True Dungeon, and we busted our asses working on the build. Again, I think GenCon had screwed up and gotten us in later than they should have. So we worked late that night getting it all put together in a super-short amount of time. The next day, we put on the finishing touches, and started our dungeon runs that evening. We worked until about midnight, running TD.

Friday the dealer hall was open, so we went over early and got some swag, before heading back to spend the rest of the day running TD. The dungeon runs ended earlier on Friday, but we had a big shindig after, so we were up really late. (I might also be on Jay Leno, but I haven't figured out yet if that was a serious film crew or some kind of prank.) The first two days I'd had the final room with the wicked 3-D effects and fluorescent paint and black lights, where one might assume I'd get terrible headaches. But I'd really made it just fine. Having a late room meant that I started later, which had given us more time for the dealer hall on Friday, but it also meant I'd been working later on the first two nights.

For Saturday, I had to start earlier, since I'd been moved to an earlier room, so we skipped the dealer hall and started our day around noon with TD. The Rose Room. OMFG. I will specify next year that I would be happy to DM, even in a 3-D prismatic nightmare, but I WILL NOT run a room for eight hours that smells like roses. I think I'm allergic. I didn't like the smell, but by the time that night was over, I had a sore throat and felt really crappy. They refreshed the rose oil half-way through the day, and I swear, by that night the whole first floor of the hotel smelled like roses, and there I was at ground zero. Other than that, though, it went well. The folks from Seaborn Games ran through that night, and I got to DM for them, which was cool. I 'finished' early that night, but when my dungeon runs were over, I had to get to work breaking the set. Even as the last groups were running through, we were tearing down the dungeon behind them. We worked well into the wee hours that night packing everything up.

Sunday, we got up and went to the TD riddle reveal, which GenCon had screwed up and failed to schedule in the right place. After that, we worked on a puzzle that one of the non-TD guys had designed. It was very complicated by TD standards, but he had some great ideas. We made it to the dealer hall just as it was closing, and pretty much missed out on swag for Sunday, but they weren't offering much that day, anyway. We caught wind of a post-GenCon staff party that night, that we planned to go to, but it was later than we'd thought. We ran into the Seaborn folks (Ben, Renee, Patrick, and Jamie), and got together with them and a couple others for a game of Werewolf in/near the hot tub. We were flying out soon, so we didn't get in the hot tub, but the rest of them did, and we played through a game of Werewolf. And then we discussed how cool it would be to have a special "hot tub" Werewolf set. Then Brig and I went to the GC staff party. I was starving and had about a foot-long finger sandwich, and some Tom Collins. After less than an hour at the party, though, we had to head out to catch our shuttle to the airport. We got there late that night, caught our red-eye, slept on the plane, and got back to Dallas about 5-6 am. Pete came and picked us up at the airport. He asked us if it felt like it was 4:30 am. No, not really. We didn't actually get jet lagged because we hadn't slept normal hours in weeks. We were tired, but 24 hours before, we'd been awake - 48 hours before we'd been awake... It was just our strange schedule, but we were exhausted, so we slept most of Monday - one of the few days we had to rest.

Although, I was on a very short deadline to get the M-Aura (newsletter) to the printer before Thanksgiving. So, as soon as I got up on Monday, I had to work on that. I worked into the night that night and then finished up by Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday night we had an RG meeting to go to. After that we had a lot of work to get done to finish up on PuzzleQuest for the RG. Brig and I worked on puzzles all day Wednesday, and then I worked all night that night and then we worked most of Thursday to get it all done. And we did get it done, and the end result was very cool.

We headed over to the RG to set things up, and got most of it set up just in time for the first PQ and Cerebral Scavenge info session. After that we did the Rum Tasting, which was very cool and got us fairly smashed, and then we headed back upstairs for the Spades Tournament. We started off playing badly, because we were drunk, but we won our first match, and then went on, slightly more sober, to win our second match. But the games ran long and into the wee hours. One of our opponents for the finals had taken ill and left before the game. We planned to wrap it up later, but we never got around to having that game. We headed home, slept from about 3:30 am to 7:30 am, and got up and finished up everything else we had to do to get ready for the RG. Having had about 4 hours sleep in the past 48, I was feeling very, very crappy.

We got to the RG around noon, which was a bit late. Grabbed some lunch, demoed Zendo, got our room, then I crashed for about another half hour, during the cancelled Scrabble Scramble slot. Kellie and Pete showed up. Seems like I demoed Cranium Hoopla while Brig went to a Screenwriting program. Then we had our beer tasting - Beers of the British Isles. I love British beer, and I'd had (I think) every beer in the tasting except for one. Funny thing I found out though, is that Fuller's ESB is a damn good beer albeit very hoppy. The first time I'd tried it, many years ago, I hadn't liked it at all. But now, I thought it was, oddly, one of the best we tried.

During the Beer Tasting, Kellie had played in and won the Set Tournament. Wasn't long after that we grabbed some supper and headed to the Ten Paces Treasure Hunt. That one's always a blast, and was probably even more fun this year than last. Then, before I could spit twice, we were gathering for the Fishbowl, which ran until about 12:30 am. Then Brig showed some Dr. Who, and I played Apples to Apples with Kara's custom deck. I was exhausted, but determined to be the last one to cave in. So I lasted until about 5 am or so. Thank God we had a hotel room that night, so it was just down the hall, and I crashed. Brig took the morning shift on Saturday. She set up the A/V for the Bridge lesson, then ran the Anachronism demos after Bridge. I got up around lunch time, grabbed a bite and a shower, and was ready to help out by the 1:30 pm Candy Tasting.

The Candy Tasting was pretty cool. We didn't get a huge turnout, but everyone seemed to have fun and they seemed to think we had a pretty interesting collection of candies from around the world. So that went pretty well. After that we did Blokus demos, which is a fun game that went over well. Nobody showed up for Mega-Twister... And then it was time to grab a couple slices of pizza and begin setting up for the dance. I had to run home (d'oh!) and get the new 4' black lights that we'd bought for the RG. I got back in time to get them set up just before the dance started. We gathered up our posse, most of them members of the Serenity crew, and headed down to the dance. And the dance was a BLAST! We won the trivia contest (thanks, Jenni). Then we announced the winners of the other games and tournaments, and then we got back to dancing for a few hours. I did a crazy slam dance for Smells Like Teen Spirit with a couple of other GenX headbangers. Then I headed to the bathroom and wrote on my shirt with a red marker, "IF YOU DON'T MOSH, GET OUT OF THE PIT", accentuated with some blood splatter, and I topped it off by coloring under my nose, so it totally looked like I'd had a nosebleed. When I got back, all bloody, some people who had seen me dancing (I actually did fall down at one point) thought that I'd really gotten a bloody nose. It was a fun joke, though. I'd spent so much energy, that I danced a lot more tamely for the rest of the night.

After the dance was over and we cleaned up after it, we had some late-night Werewolf games, introducing some people who had never played. It's a quick one to pick up, though. After a few games of that, some people had to leave and/or get to bed, as it was probably getting to be around 3-4 am. I went over to the other room and played some more custom-deck Apples to Apples with Kara and company for, literally, the rest of the night. We petered out after dawn. I had some Wheaties and a hard-boiled egg, loaded the van (so I wouldn't have to later), and hit the sack around 10 am. I got almost no sleep, but Sunday was a slow clean-up day. With everyone working together, we didn't have that much work to do, although we stuck around the hotel, talking, until well after sunset. Then we went to La Mad with Andrew for some supper around 9 pm. Then home, and crash. I said I would sleep all day Monday, and I pretty much did. Probably a good 18 hours or so. Wow. I feel like a living human being again.

Interview meme

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 08:38:26 GMT

Interview meme strikes again!

1. Leave a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I'll reply and give you five questions to answer.
3. You'll update your LJ with the five questions answered.
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed. And it just keeps going, and going, and going....

Here are my five questions from popsbabypenguin:

1. What is the earliest memory you have?
It's very difficult to tell what's oldest, because the first few years are a blur. The first real breakpoint for me was starting school, so it's hard to arrange anything before that. Probably one of the earliest, because of the sheer euphoria it induced was propping my face over the floor vents in the trailer house while the A/C was blowing in the dead heat of summer. The blast of cold air was almost suffocating, and it was exhilirating. To this day, that still ranks as one of the greatest pleasures of my life.
Another very odd, very old memory that I have is of some paper cups with a wood-grain print. For some reason, I really thought those were the coolest cups ever, and I would try to scratch through the wax coating to get down to the wood underneath.

2. Do you feel you indulge your obsessions or can't control them?
I don't feel that very much is out of control for me. But there are several things I can't seem to stop (perhaps because I don't really want to). I can put off my obsessions for a week or more if I'm busy with something, but I always come back to them later. While no obsession is completely out of control, I do exert less control than I probably should.

3. What most irritates you about other people?
Shall I start with a list of people? I'm not often all that irritated, but there are things that annoy me from time to time: Not responding to emails with direct questions (I know, I do it, too), Parking badly, Overgeneralizing (esp. telling me what GenX is like, or what men are like - or how something IS, when it doesn't apply to me), Being late enough to actually cause problems (I'm much better about being on time, now), Talking so I can't get a word in edgewise, Saying one thing and meaning another, Telling me what I want to hear instead of what's true, Giving me bullshit excuses for stuff, Being logically inconsistent, Wasting money in stupid and/or flagrant ways, Pining away for that one true love (and telling me all about it), not using LJ cuts for 2-page posts, Hypocrisy (like wife-beaters supporting 'family values'), Jealousy, Unnecessary brutality, Contempt people have for each other, Closed-mindedness, Taking pride in ignorance and/or stupidity, Bitchiness, Cattiness, Egocentrism, The tendency to 'settle down' and quit being cool or doing cool stuff; OK, long list, and I'm sure there's more. And still, like I said, I'm not often irritated in ways that matter.

4. After not working for so long, how would you feel about going back to a 9 to 5 world?
I almost feel like I'm ready. Although I hate job hunting far more than I hate working. Engineering was good enough, but it never was, and probably never will be the driving passion of my life. While I could do the 9 to 5 if I had to, I really don't want to, and would take frequent breaks to think about how much I hated it (much like when I really had a job.) I think my ideal job is not a 9 to 5 thing, working for the man, but I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

5. What is the most sexually deviant thing you have ever done?
It's a tough call. It's hard to say what act is more deviant than what other act. Though I've done a lot of crazy things, I don't know that any one deviant act stands out as more deviant than the rest. I've never fucked a corpse or an animal. Coming down a notch from that, though, it's hard to say. Although, it's bad enough that I wouldn't want to write about it in my Livejournal. Yeah, I know, an uncharacteristic cop out.

Weekly update

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 23:58:34 GMT

1) Great Mensa New Member's Party last weekend.
Good times. Good times. Brig got stuck at the front table taking admission fees and handing out name tags. She's terrible with names, so I helped her out. I know about two-thirds of the active NTM members by name, and I probably picked up a couple more by manning the table. It was really hectic for the first hour. Then things slacked off a little and I got a chance to grab some food. Brig had brought a really great shepherd's pie and I got some of that, along with some spicy beans and jalapeno cornbread. And I couldn't find any sodas, so I got beers for Brig and me.

Somebody fell on the sidewalk out front and cut her forehead, and somebody came in flustered, babbling about needing wet towels for blood. Blood? After sending someone for towels, I went out to help/gawk. It wound up being not that bad an injury, but it bled a lot. So there, on the ground, was this woman in shock with her face covered in blood, crying for a towel and worried about her glasses being broken. Some other people came out with towels and got her cleaned up and taken to the bathroom to get patched up, and she wound up being mostly OK. But blood had been shed. This was gonna be a great party!

Jet and Jed were there from the Browncoats board. Jed had just joined Mensa when we first met him through the Browncoats, so he was actually one of the new members at the NMP. There were quite a lot of GenXers there. Larry made it, Paul was there, and Valerie, and Sharon (who used to come to game nights), Kimberly and her feller (Chris), Andrew (son of the hosts), Shawn, and Brian, as well as some new GenXers, some of whom actually seemed like they might be interested in doing stuff with us in the future. There was Jennifer and Jake, both new members, who stayed and talked with us until the hosts kicked us out. And there was Kara, daughter of a member who had come as her mother's guest. She seemed really cool, and several of us spent a lot of time talking to her. She was also there until the bitter end. I, personally, take that as being a good sign for anyone new. If Mensans can't drive you off after 4 hours, you're probably going to fit in just fine.

After a couple hours, Brig got replaced at the front table, so she was free to get some food and drink and hang out with the rest of the group. I drank a lot of beer. Karen B was making a creme brule cheesecake and she was getting ready to blowtorch the sugar on top, so a bunch of us headed into the kitchen to watch. Fire! Fire! After that, I got regaled by one drunk older woman about what Adventure SIG needs to do in the future. So, we'll be looking into Big Bend (on the Rio Grande), as well as toobing or canoeing on the Brazos. After that I headed back outside. Got into a discussion with Shawn about the Amazing Racist. Later on I ran into a German GenXer. I didn't get the whole story on why he was here or for how long. He never watched TV, though, so Firefly discussion was lost on him. I was dressed as Jayne Cobb to support the Sci-Fi themed dance at the RG. Got a lot of puzzled people with questions, but I didn't mind answering. It gave me something to talk about, which was actually kinda nice for starting conversations. That, and apparently, toilets.

After a while, I got a seat on the gazebo. I lit up a cigar and talked to Ron (the host) for a bit. He told me about when he was in the Navy and a guy had a bunch of Cuban cigars. "You can't take those back to America, you know." "Oh, don't worry. I have a feeling they'll be destroyed by fire before then." And then Andrew came out with a cigar to smoke. Kara and Larry sat down at the table, and Andrew, Larry, Kara and I talked for a long time. Kara was a graduate of film school, so we talked a lot about that, from John Waters to Trey and Matt to Evil Dead 2, Amelie, and Peter Jackson's early films. She said after a while that it was like being on a four-person date. And it kinda was like that, getting to know each other. As usual, the beer gazebo was a great place to hang out. When I finished my beer, I switched to wine.

Brig spent a lot of time talking to Jennifer (another Jenni), who was apparently a fan of Joss Whedon and Kevin Smith. "I love your wife," she tells me. Hey, I'm cool with that. Chuck and Marcia spent some time with us in the gazebo. After a while, they left, and the rest of us looked around to see that we were about the only people left. Larry headed out, because he didn't want to be the weird guy at the party who didn't know when to leave. I said, no worries, because I was that guy. Andy was taking down the beer and Ray was rounding up the wine. "Are we the last ones here?" No, there were still some people inside. I ate all the leftover M&M's and we all headed inside. We talked a little more with Jake, and Jennifer, and Kara, but it was after midnight and the hosts wanted to get to sleep (clubhouse, dammit, we need a Mensa clubhouse!). So we all left. But then we spent about another hour out by the car talking to Andrew.

2) Last night Cris treated us to beer & wings & trivia at Humperdinks. We first went to the old Buffalo Wild Wings, but it is now Buffalo Joe's - guess they lost their franchise. So we probably weren't the only ones who got pissed off by their customer service. I feel vindicated, in a way. So, now that they're Buffalo Joe's, they don't have NTN trivia or a liquor license. You don't say? That's two of the three reasons we came here. Well, they were going to have them soon, perhaps by November 1st even. So Brig, says, smartass that she is, "Well, then, I guess we're early." We decided that we really wanted some trivia, so we went to the Humperdinks in Addison. First time we'd been there in years. We'd switched to the Humps on Greenville for Beer and Trivia, because we liked the other location better. Humps in Addison had become totally overrun with yuppies, esp. on $2 Tuesday. We had gotten sick of going there and started going to the one on Greenville. But we hadn't been to the one on Greenville, either, in about two years.

In the meantime, a lot had changed at the Humperdinks in Addison, MOST NOTABLY they took out the brewery to put in a patio. How. Fucking. Lame. Is. That??? It's a fucking brewpub, and they just took out the brew. Almost every restaurant in the metro has a stupid patio (and the weather here sucks so bad, it's only useful about 4 weeks a year). Finding a good brewpub, on the other hand, is a lot harder. Now, Two Rows brews their own beer AND has a patio, so Humperdinks is screwed either way. If Two Rows ever gets trivia, it'll all be over.

But tonight we were there for the trivia, and luckily they still had that. They also had some of the Blonde homebrew left, for $3 a mug, but once they ran out they wouldn't be making more. And somehow, we already found out there's a problem in the Dallas metro with shipping beer from one location to another. There's a Two Rows in the north part of the metro that can't brew their own beer, and can't get it shipped from the other location. That's also an issue with the Humperdinks in Plano, I think. So, tonight they had Blonde, but no Strongman or any of their other specialty brews from the past. Once the Blonde was gone, the only $3-a-mug beers would be Budweiser and other crap.

Most of the appetizers that used to be half price for happy hour were no longer offered at half price. The one good note was that they now have really good wings that are half-priced for happy hour. So we ordered the three things that were half price - we got calamari, and Cris got spinach artichoke dip, and we ordered 20 wings (10 Cajun/10 Jamaican). We also got playmakers for trivia and mugs of beer (Cris had the frozen margaritas). The food was good. The wings were awesome - meaty and well-sauced. Both the flavors we'd gotten were really spicy. Mmmm... They'd changed the way they did their wings, and that was one thing they changed for the better.

They had also put in some little TV sets by the booths, so we managed to snag a booth with an NTN monitor sitting right at the corner, which was keen, since we were there for the trivia. Larry, Paul, Cris, Brigette, and I all played, and it was a lively competition. We stomped the other players who were there and probably drove up their location ranking by several hundred places. Cris got off to a good start. She got 3 of the first 5 correct, and actually pulled into the lead. She used up a whole night's worth of gloating in the first 10 minutes, because she knew that would be her last chance to use it. As the game went on, I quickly pulled ahead, then won, and got my name in the #3 spot on the local Top 10 scoreboard for Brainbuster, with the highest score they'd had there since May.

For the next game, we were busy eating (sure, good excuse) and Larry won. Then for the night's big game, it was Travel-themed trivia. This week - Baltimore. Like, an hour and a half of Baltimore trivia. Egad. Not a big fan of the travel trivia game. Last time we'd played it was like, Czech Republic or something. At least I'd lived in Baltimore. I should have done better, but (I'm serious) a couple of my answers didn't register, even though I'd hit the right button (yeah, yeah, excuses, excuses). At least I got the "National Museum of Aquarium", and that was after two mugs of beer. ;)
So Paul won that game. He actually took first place on that location's Travel Trivia Top 10 board, with a very impressive score. The rest of us weren't far behind. And we did as well as we did without working together, for the most part. Larry was bummed that he'd gotten second place on the two games where Paul and I make the Top 10 boards, and he'd won first place in the game between, but didn't make it on the scoreboard. DENIED!!!

Oh well, it was a heck of a lot of fun. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed beer & wings & trivia. Well, it doesn't seem possible that I could have forgotten... But it was a blast, even though we hadn't been in a long, long time. We also got some Armadillo Eggs (stuffed jalapenos) during the travel game, and they were damn good, as always. But since we hadn't been to Humperdinks in forever, it had been forever since we'd had them. Mmmm... Good food, pretty good beer (despite it being the Blonde we drank), good games, and great company. We gotta do this again. And more often.

3) We're getting a new fence this week. I went out yesterday and they had all the iron posts resting at random angles in the postholes and it looked like they were putting in anti-tank fortifications. They stood the poles upright, though, poured concrete for the bases, and welded in some more pieces today. It's looking like a fence now. Still wondering if everything is going to stay orange, or if they're really going to repaint this stuff.

4) I'm also loving this season of Veronica Mars. It's the only current TV show that I'm watching this season. So far it is, at least. Though Brig says Smallville is 'not too bad'. Compared to last season which actually was 'too bad', that's high praise. So, I may watch it after all. James Marsters is cool, and so is the Brainiac character, if they do it justice. *ahem* Justice.

Okay, so I was curious...

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 22:09:57 GMT

If you're curious, you can do this, too:

1.) Copy and paste this into your journal:
<*font color="yourusername"> <*b>yourusername<*/b> <*/font>
2.) Eliminate the asterisks.
2 1/2.) Replace "yourusername" with your user name.
3.) See what color you are

arcbat

Ick. What a lame color.

Oh well...

TRF Trip

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 07:36:49 GMT

Friday Night

Cris and I got there early on Friday and set up most of the camp before sunset. We had Cris's tent, the screen tent, our tent, and the crappy dining fly that became the shower tent. Cris's car closed off the circle and we roped it all off with Caution tape. Not that it mattered. Row 16 only had one other campsite, and 17 and 18 were pretty much empty. After setting up, I scrounged up some firewood and built a fire. We sat around drinking and talking for a few hours. The police came by and told us we couldn't have a ground fire, so we let the flames die down until the reinforcements arrived with the fire tub. I was pretty drunk by the time Brig, Jason and Amy got there. I went straight for the fire tub, tossed in a couple starter logs with some bigger wood, and, as I promised Cris, we had a raging fire in less than 5 minutes. Then I set up the tiki torches to further mark the perimeter of our camp.

Not long after that, a really pretty girl came by our campsite looking for her friends who were supposed to be camping in row 18. I went with her to 'help her look'. The row 18 area had only one campsite and it wasn't the one she was looking for, so we walked off toward the bonfire, looking. Her name was Blake and she was looking for Taewas. She was a culinary student in Austin, and had driven down after class. She'd been coming to the faire for a long time (since she was 15), but she'd always worked there. This was her first time to camp in the patron campground. We got to the big bonfire and the crowd was sparse. The drummers had about as regular a beat as a handful of marbles dropped on a drum, and none of the girls were dancing. Apparently all the good drummers were elsewhere. People at the fire were mostly just standing around talking. She ran into a guy she knew, named Paul, who also joined us on the quest for Taewas. Paul thought he'd seen the guy over at the Chaos camp, so off we went.

After tromping through several other camps on the way over, we reached a tent with a bunch of drummers, and there he was - Taewas - the guy she was looking for, who was supposed to be camping in row 18. No, they wound up camping in row 5 or something, and he was having fun playing the drums. We hooked up with a couple other people, and turned around to go back and get Blake's car. One of the guys was a regular, who was there every week, but unlike most of the regulars who were from the Houston area, this guy drove down from Dallas every weekend. I asked if the faire was usually this sparse on the third weekend, or if attendance was just down this year, and I got into a socio-economic discussion with Paul about how the shitty economy, the raging high gas prices, and the hurricanes had really cut into people's disposable income and dropped attendance through the floor for this year. It wasn't just an off-weekend, attendance was way down.

We got back to our campsite, and I bid them farewell. While I was gone, a drunk kid had stumbled into the campsite offering to trade Sprite for beer. And he'd knocked down one of our tiki torches. I stood it back up, but the wick had slipped into the reservoir. I unscrewed the top and, still drunk, I stuck my finger in to fish out the wick. And I stuck it in a little too far. So there I was with my finger stuck in a tiki torch. I pulled the reservoir out of the torch stand and lubed up my finger with some tiki torch fuel. Then I gave it a hearty tug and out popped my finger, minus some of its skin, thanks to the rough metal edge of the hole. Well, I was properly anaesthetized already, so I felt almost nothing, but the blood cascaded down my finger in rivulets. Brig came to the rescue with some first aid - she took a picture, then cleaned it with some alcohol (I think), and put a band-aid around it. I don't remember much more of that night, although I think I sat around talking and drinking for a while, I made Amy a Midori Sour, and I made a few Ketel One-and-Tonics. After having a few more drinks, myself, including what was left of Amy's Midori Sour, I passed out in the chair. When Brig put me to bed, I didn't complain.

Saturday at the Faire

Woke up the next morning (believe it or not) hung over. Brig put on her Scottish dress-thingy with a Scottish name, and I put on my great kilt. We went over around 11am and met up with Artcat, Lost_Thought, Kaylee4Simon, and some other Houston Browncoats. Brig and I each got a Scotch Egg with cheese for breakfast, then headed over to watch the Tartanic bagpipe show. Then we headed to the Sea Devil tavern, stopping by Angel Swords on the way. We lost track of the Browncoats, and after waiting for a bit at the tavern, we headed to the Odeon stage and watched Arsene, who was funny, as always. I wandered back to the Sea Devil after the show, taking several pics as I went. I ran into Blake there, who said, "Hi, Jason!", which shocked the hell out of me. She told a couple of her girlfriends that I was the guy who'd helped her find Taewas the night before at the campground.

Brig and I were supposed to meet up with Cris, Jason, and Amy for the Ded Bob Sho at 1:30, but I was having more fun taking pictures and people-watching, so I was late getting to the show. Aside from Old MacDonald's Dysfunctional Farm, I think everything was same material I'd seen about a dozen times. It's a funny show, don't get me wrong. But it's the SAME DAMN SHOW every time. I don't get the people who go time and again and again and again, and claim that it's the best show evar. Naturally there is some variation in the zombies that get picked from the audience. This day, in particular, he'd snagged a really cute blonde girl. It was funny, but not funnier that Arsene. I guess, maybe, some members of the audience really do get Bob-mo-tized. The Browncoats were at the show, but again I lost them. Brig and I split a King's Beefy Bun from the nearby food stand.

We were thinking of going to the Joust to the Death (which we later heard was LAME), but although it was a fairly nice day in the shade, it was too damn hot in the sun. And that's where the joust was - in the sun, with no damn shade. So, after sitting in the shade by the Sea Devil for a bit, Brig and I headed off to Sherwood forest. Now, I'm pretty sure I remember a time when Sherwood forest was tiny (and about a foot deep in water), but now there's a huge area back there that we never seem to go to. They got lots of carnival games along the lines of throw the knife/axe/throwing star/wench/etc. Shoot a longbow, catapult a frog, push a penny, fish for duckies, throw a tomato at the asshole, and so on. They've got a bunch of giant swings (four adults across) powered by a wench (the other kind), and they've got a spinning ride called the Dizzy Dragon or somesuch. There's also a den of Italian food back there. And the big surprize deer that drops down on unsuspecting patrons. Heh heh.

We'd partly gone back there to hear Cast in Bronze - imagine you play an instrument that no one has ever heard of... that weighs fourteen tons... that's impossible to put inside and difficult to put outside... imagine that you want to play it at renfests with other instruments recorded on a soundtrack... for the first time in the history of the world... imagine that you're over-the-top-flamboyant and dress in all black with a Clockwork Orange mask... Well, you don't have to image all that, just go see Cast in Bronze - a freaky guy who plays all kinds of cool stuff on a big-ass carillon. I didn't actually watch the show (I'd seen it at Scarborough), but I wandered around Sherwood and listened (it does carry a bit).

I'd just gotten Brig an Italian ice orange and played a game of push penny (shuffleboard meets skeeball) when I hear "Hey there's an arcbat!" It was the Houston Browncoats again. I went and got Brig, and we all headed into the magic garden together. That was another reason that I'd headed back to Sherwood - I'd never been to the magic garden. We strolled though, took a Browncoat group pic, and sang a bit of The Hero of Canton as we walked. We headed up to the front, stopping at a couple of shops along the way. Brig got a TRF ambigram pin from the gift shop. Then we headed to the nearby food court, and after a bit of walking, we went back to the front. Once we'd reached the gate, we all sat down in the shade at the base of a tree. The dragon puppet place was having a drawing to give away prizes, so we got tickets and waited a few minutes for the drawing to begin. They gave several prizes, but nobody that we knew won anything.

We called Cris and found out that she was already back at the campsite with a splitting migraine, so it being around 6pm, Brig and I were about ready to head back as well. The Browncoats were also ready to leave, so we bid them farewell. Brig and I made one last use of the running water, where I found out that having 8 yards of kilt can be pretty cumbersome in the bathroom. I also pulled the band-aid off my finger to clean the wound really well, and the skin was looking all puffy and nasty. As soon as I got back to camp, I dug out the first aid kit and Brig and I worked on cutting off some skin, applying some anti-biotic and wrapping it with some actual gauze, which would allow it to heal a lot better than a band-aid could. The fire was built up, the tiki torches lit, and after the fireworks, Jason and Amy arrived at the camp.

Saturday Night at Camp

The fire cooked down a bit to coals and we set up the grill. I put on a pot of coffee, using our new camp percolator. Cris made some potato, cheese, pepper and onion pockets that turned out very tasty. Jason wanted to have some breakfast sausage and eggs, and we came up with the idea of having breakfast burritos. So Jason cooked up a whole roll of sausage, then Brig and I made a bunch of cheesy scrambled eggs, Cris heated up some tortillas, and I sauteed some onions. The end result was some truly awesome breakfast burritos. It was pretty late when I ate my first one, so I was pretty hungry and it turned out to be one of the best breakfast burritos I ever had. Cris and Jason had some s'mores.

I went to check out the bonfire, and found that a few drummers were drumming (badly) a few girls were dancing, and nothing too crazy was going on yet, so I headed back to our camp. After hanging out until about 11pm, Cris and Jason and Amy all went to bed. Brig and I said that at least they partied harder than bikers on a Saturday night. Brig was pretty tired, too, but I was determined to get as much enjoyment as I could out of the gathering at the bonfire, so I headed back over there. It was a sparse crowd. There were at least four cops that I saw wandering around the bonfire, at least one of which had a jacket that said "Sheriff". I joked that there were almost as many cops as patrons. A few girls were dancing, none of them topless. Having that many cops around, you could sense that not much was going to happen that night. I wondered if that was the way it was going to be from now on - the bonfire, now heavily patrolled by the cops, would no longer be the main attraction, and the wild crazy party that had happened there in 2002 would not be happening again.

You could tell that the best drummers were not at the fire circle. A couple of guys tried to do a fire dance thing with a staff lit up at both ends, but they sucked. They looked more like they were practicing than performing. I could have done better... with a cut up finger. It was about 2am, and soon they would break up the fire circle. I mused that sleep should never be the better option on a Saturday night, but after a couple hours of being bored, I headed back to our camp. I stoked the fire a bit, put on my baja jacket and sat in a chair by the fire. Warm and cozy, I very quickly dozed off.

I woke up around 5am, sitting in the chair by the bucket of coals, no longer toasty and warm. I stirred up the fire a little to regain some warmth. I still heard some sparse drumming from the main fire circle, so I wandered over to see what was up. Nothing, really. Although, the fire from the large bonfire felt good in the coolness of the early morning. The moon was nearly full, so there was no need for a flashlight in getting around the campground. I was wearing my baja jacket, and apparently in south Texas that's a sign that I do drugs. Even though I don't. But it wasn't long until a guy asked me if I needed some weed. He told me about going to Laredo to get steroids, and other drugs, and cheap tequila, and baja jackets. He told me that if you spent the night in a hotel you could cross the border twice on two different guard shifts and bring back double the limit. Then a couple pretty girls showed up and he was distracted by them.

A fight almost broke out between two drunk guys, but a couple of big tough guys talked down the aggressor before anything started. One heavily tattooed guy told a girl about the time he got his ass beat so badly by some rednecks at a bar in south Texas that he'd been sent to the hospital - the rednecks at the time had thought he was gay because he'd been dressed like a goth. People were talking all around, but not much else was happening at the bonfire. And the pretty girls, the few that there were, were neither topless nor interested in me, so I called it a night and headed back to our camp. After toasting myself by our own campfire for a bit, I went to bed, just as the eastern sky started to glow.

Sunday Morning

I woke up around 9am, sore from the preceeding day, but not hung over. Brig was making coffee. I had some coconut-covered donuts. And we started breaking camp. Cris quickly pulled down her stuff and the shower tent and hit the road. The rest of us spent a couple more hours taking stuff down, packing it up, and loading the van. One thing we had to do was make room for an extra passenger, since the van had made the trip down with three people but would be making the trip back with four. We'd burned nearly all of our firewood, which freed up a lot of room, though. There were only three sticks left and we dropped them by a small tree for campers to find later in the season. Brig and I carried our fire tub over to the big bonfire (which had died down a lot) and dumped our coals there, so we wouldn't have to worry about putting them out. Gradually, we got everything taken down and loaded, and we headed out around noon, just an hour later than we'd planned. My gauze-covered index finger now looked like a 2000-year-old mummy's finger from all the grime it had accumulated.

We had a lot of fun, even though it was a disappointingly small, tame crowd at the faire and at the campground. The daytime weather was also too hot for my tastes, with a really brutal amount of sunshine. I remember now, that's one of the reasons we like to go later in the season. We were really well-prepared for camping this year - prepared enough for somebody who forgot to bring a sleeping bag or a blanket. Although, next year, I'm going to try to remember an oven mitt and a fireplace poker. We made it fine without them, but they add a level of convenience. It was neat having a shower, even if I didn't use it. And the screen tent worked great for food prep and storage. I also liked getting there on Friday, before sunset to set up camp. We never had even half as nice a camp by 8pm, and 75% of our supplies weren't even there by then. All in all, things worked out well. It was cool camping with Cris, Jason, and Amy, and it was fun hanging out with the Browncoats in the faire.

And my finger will be fine in a couple of days. It's the kind of injury that's more amusing than troublesome, although it looked nasty when it happened. When Paul asked me Sunday night at the Mensa meeting about the highlights of the trip, I showed him my tiki torch wound. That's a highlight?! Well, it's not the best thing that happened, by far, but it was interesting and memorable. I consider that a "highlight".

New Door Day

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 14:37:30 GMT

We're getting a new door today. Which is nice, since the old one is so tight it's hard to close and harder to lock and yet has a quarter-inch gap at the bottom to let heat in in the summer and out in the winter. They've been rebuilding our entire apt. complex for about two months now, and things are a total crap-mess, but it should be quite nice once they're done with all the construction - three or four months from now.

Hey, I'm the crazy one!!!

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 15:03:42 GMT

You scored as River Tam. The Fugitive. You are clever and dangerous, which is a nasty combination. The fact you are crazy too just adds to your charm. They did bad things to you, but you know their secrets. They will regret how they made you.

</td>

Hoban 'Wash' Washburne

94%

River Tam

94%

The Operative

88%

Simon Tam

63%

Kaylee Frye

63%

Inara Serra

56%

Shepherd Derrial Book

56%

Capt. Mal Reynolds

50%

Jayne Cobb

44%

Zoe Alleyne Washburne

38%

Which Serenity character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Four-Foot Yardstick

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 11:49:37 GMT

So, yesterday I was at the store and I was looking through the latest Ripley's (Believe It or Not) book of strange facts and crap. There was the guy who ate cow chips, and the dude who could swallow and regurgitate white mice. There was this guy at some Asian festival with a bicycle frame stuck through a hole in his cheek. And the girl who could put her finger through the hole in her tongue. There was the guy who had made an island out of 250,000 empty plastic water bottles, and the girl who made an artistic display out of 22,000 chicken wishbones. And not to forget the guy who'd made a donkey sculpture out of common household trash. And the man who made fish sculptures out of hubcaps. They had the guy with the 33-foot fingernails. And there was a barber in Turkey who shaved men while he was hanging upside down. And of course there was the writing on the grains of rice. And the car made completely out of cheese. And a couple of guys who could do the trick where you put a snake up your nose and out of your mouth. Heck, one guy could floss his teeth through his tear ducts. And then there was this one guy who had rolled sideways all the way from Pakistan to London to protest for peace.

I mean, it made me think... Gee, what have I really done with my life?

Serenity Opening!!!

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 08:31:11 GMT

Well, Brig and I just saw Serenity for the SIXTH time - the second time this week. I'll be going to another screening in about 16 hours. I didn't get any perks or freebies to blog about the movie. It's just my unbiased opinion that it rules! We got there about 9:30pm (for the midnight show at Valley View) and there were only two people waiting in line when we arrived. The crowd picked up as time went by, and it wound up being a pretty full theater. We got prime middle middle seats. ReaverFood showed up later (with his brand new Jayne hat), and we bought him a ticket for his b-day. There were a couple of people there with some really nice costumes. And, we met a couple of cool new people there, which I hope to see again.

If you're a fan of Firefly, Serenity, and/or Joss Whedon, go join the Dallas Browncoats.

Serenity opens today in over 2,000 theaters, nationwide. Find one that's showing it, and go see it.

And then a month went by...

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 10:04:13 GMT

Wow. I suck at blogging. It's not that nothing interesting ever happens. I just never seem to write about it. Last weekend was Oktoberfest. We had a lot of fun and consumed several liters of Paulaner Oktoberfest bier. I spent a big chunk of this week working on the October M-Aura (North Texas Mensa newsletter - I'm the editor). It was a Sci-Fi themed issue, and without a doubt my best yet. Now, I've still got a bunch to do for the RG (Regional Gathering), including scheduling, writing event descriptions, and making puzzles for the Puzzlequest. (And that bloody phone survery...) My God, the fall is always such a crazy-busy time of the year. Serenity is coming out next weekend. Then we've got a big Texas Renfest trip the weekend of Oct 15. Then the Mensa New Members party on Oct 22, Cedar Springs Halloween on the 29th, The Board Game Geek Con the first weekend of November, Disneyland the next weekend, GenCon SoCal the week/weekend after that, and then the RG for Thanksgiving weekend. And that's just the major stuff. We've got most of the gaps filled in with smaller stuff as well. I think our next totally free weekend is December 10th, and it's likely to fill up by then.

I'm a Wit

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 08:50:07 GMT

the Wit

(61% dark, 26% spontaneous, 31% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

AND FINALLY -- after you rate my test with a sweet, sweet '5' -- you must take this test next: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test. It's not mine, but it rocks.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 72% on dark

You scored higher than 0% on spontaneous

You scored higher than 45% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Chipotle Chimichanga

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 07:58:36 GMT

The other day, Brig and I got a really bad hankering for Chimichangas. We were thinking we hadn't had a really good one since Tucson. So we got this crazy idea. We could make badass chimis by deep-frying Chipotle burritos...

Tonight we put it to the test. We got burritos from Chipotle - I had barbacoa, pintos, onions and peppers, no rice, sour cream, cheese, and all the salsas except corn. When Brig got home with it, she cooked it for a couple minutes in the deep-fryer. Then I topped it off with cheese sauce and a side of guacamole. Check it out - a Chimichanga!!! I'll likely die of heart-failure momentarily, but damn that was good. Brig had a chicken burrito, and did the same with hers. It was one of the best ideas we've had in a while. Got a deep-fryer and a Chipotle nearby? Eating too healthy? Try a deep-fried burrito!

My life in pulp...

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 23:22:09 GMT

I sit in a daze like the fool on the hill, as time rushes by and the world spins around. And I ponder whether or not any of it really means a damn thing. But my musings take me nowhere. And then another day is gone. More meaningfully than any calendar, the pile of dirty laundry shows the passing of the days. But there's always something more fun to do than laundry, and so I spiral downward, in my self-absorbed dream world where I am more who I want to be and less who I am. Reality must eventually set in. Or maybe I'll just start wearing dirty clothes at some point. No. That point has already passed. My five o'clock shadow has grown out into a sort of second-Thursday shadow. I've been lost in thought for days, puppeteering my way through social interaction. Another fun time comes around like a shot of some rare and expensive recreational drug. I've got track marks on my soul. The higher the high, the lower the low. I am Icarus. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Fun fun fun

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 05:48:14 GMT

All play and no work makes Jack's blog pretty empty...

I am a guinea pig

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 07:42:23 GMT

Or, perhaps

Milestones

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 05:34:19 GMT

Milestones are like kidney stones - they're painful to pass, but you're better off afterwards.

(I think I just made that up - not that I just passed any.)

I think I was thinking of kidney stones. You probably don't pass gallstones.

A nod to Charlie Kaufman

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 15:51:23 GMT

You know, I check this page every day, and it's usually just the same old stuff. Yep, I tell myself, I read that yesterday, and the day before, and so on... But today, there's this. A new entry. It's not that exciting, but at least it's something different for a change.

Wisdom wants to be free

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 09:41:34 GMT

So, I just ran across this witty batch of wisdom, and these were some of the few that I hadn't heard a thousand times:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

God must enjoy making stupid people; He makes so many.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. [I love this one!]

The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

Four years for a philosophy degree, and this list is all I have to show for it.

Where's my button maker? I need a button that says, "I'm all out of witty sayings..."
You know, to go with my "Woe is me" button. LOL.

Greatly amusing links

Tue, 31 May 2005 10:53:29 GMT

Well, first of all, there's this happier, more upbeat new take on the Matrix Gunfight.

And then, if you were wondering what Icelandic Idol might be like, here is an "interesting" "musical" group.

You think that's hot???

Sat, 28 May 2005 13:38:23 GMT

So, the other day, I got in the most absurd conversation ever with this guy who apparently had no limit for heat tolerance. I like spicy foods more than most. I order five-star Thai and get grumpy when they bring me gringo-hot three-star versions. I've tried fresh habaneros, and various pepper-based concoctions with names like Pure Fire and Dragon's Breath. In a hot sauce shop in Austin, I sampled a 7.1 million scoville food additive (that's HOT, dammit - the hottest pepper you ever had is less than 250,000 scovilles). Anyway, the conversation was both annoying and amusing. I'm exaggerating for effect, but seriously this is what it was like:

Me: Yep. At the firey food tasting at the last Regional Gathering I actually ate three-quarters of a fresh habanero pepper. Man, that was hot.

Him: Oh, that's nothing. I used to grow my own habaneros and eat them by the bushel fresh out of the garden. I even crossbred some peppers to make my own breed that was even hotter than the hottest commercially-available pepper. I've actually got a patent on it, but it isn't legal to sell them in the US.

Me: So, you like hot stuff? Have you tried Lady MacArthur's Pure Fire? That's pretty good stuff - and it's hot, too.

Him: Yeah, I've tried 'em all. They're not that great, and they're not hot either.

Me: Well, there's this hot sauce shop in Austin called Tears of J...

Him: Been there. Done that.

Me: Yeah, well, they've got this 7.1 million scoville extract that they...

Him: That's not that hot.

Me: That's like 35 TIMES hotter than a habanero!

Him: Not my special habaneros. They were like ten-thousand-million scovilles, and I used to grind up the seeds and rub them in my eyes, just for fun.

Me: (Why am I having this conversation???)

Him: So have you ever been to India Palace? They've got the hottest food ever - well, this one dish at least. Everything on the menu is three stars, and they don't have any four-star dishes, except this one dish is FIVE-stars of HOT.

Me: I'll have to try that. I've never really had spicy Indian food. I prefer Thai. There's this place in Milwaukee - The King and I - That's the hottest Thai food I've ever had. When you say "Five Stars" they believe you. Most places tone it way down for Americans, but The King and I - when you say "Thai hot" you get Thai hot.

Him: Well, it couldn't be as hot as the Thai place I used to eat at in college. It was run by an actual Thai family. I bet the guy $100 he couldn't make the food so hot I couldn't eat it, and in five years he couldn't win that bet. One time, he brought me a dish so hot it melted the plate [not exaggerating here - I wish I were]. He was cooking stuff his family couldn't even eat. His daughter got sent to the hospital because her lungs got burned by the fumes coming out of the kitchen. And I was like, "Not bad, but you got anything hot???" So he called his ancestors back in Thailand, and they had to send him some special peppers just for this one dish. And he had to fill out special paperwork to get a waiver from the Department of Agriculture because peppers that hot aren't legal in the US. And so he's wearing goggles and a respirator while he cooks it, and his whole family has to leave the restaurant, and they close down early that night so they don't hurt any of the customers. And he brings it out in this cast-iron pot, because this stuff's supposedly so spicy that it would eat through any normal plate, and I eat the whole thing, and I'm like "Whatever!" And he was actually worried for a minute, because if I hadn't eaten it, he would have had to turn it over to the EPA for disposal.

Me: This one day, we were driving past The King and I, and there was a fire truck sitting out in front of the restaurant, and we really thought that was funny. "Now that's some hot Thai food!!!"

Him: Yeah, well, after that, he called up this ninja that he knew, back in Thailand...

Me: A Thai ninja?

Him: Yeah, and he got this secret recipe for a pepper-based poison that ninjas use, sort of like police pepper spray only about a googol times hotter. And he was making up a dish for me, using the poison pepper powder and...

Me: Let me guess. It was so hot it set the kitchen on fire...

Him: etc.

Me: *headdesk*

Goth meme!

Thu, 19 May 2005 07:51:54 GMT

I got this from ardath_rekha. Hilarious.

This is an actual circular that was sent out by a church. I [ardath] first read about it here, and decided that it needs to be memed. So here’s how this works. Go through the list below and bold all of the symptoms of goth that apply to you (or, perhaps, applied when you were a teen). If you have more than five bolded at the end…

…you are so going to hell. ;-)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

Frequently wears black clothing.

Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.

Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.

Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. [Don't we all???]

Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

Takes drugs.

Drinks alcohol.

Is suicidal and/or depressed.

Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

Complains of boredom.

Sleeps too excessively or too little.

Is excessively awake during the night.

Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

Spends large amounts of time alone.

Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) [Yep - you got me - that's EXACTLY why I like to have some quiet time alone.]

Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

Misbehaves at school. [When I was in school.]

Misbehaves at home.

Eats excessively or too little

Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. [Well, I don't eat much Count Dracula cereal, but I do put blood on my Froot Loops... Does that count?]

Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) [The Path of Satan, coming up next on the Discovery Channel...]

Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. [Like right now, for example.]

Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. [Me? A headbanger? Don't blame me, blame Marilyn Manson.]

Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

Expresses an interest in sex.

Masturbates.

Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. [Philosophy? I am soooo busted.]

Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". [Could that really be a sign?]

Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So, I got 28... I guess that's more than FIVE. I think that puts me in the express lane of the Highway to Hell.

You sure this isn't the "Is your child a teenager" test?

Note to self: wear more black.